If, like me, you take great care in planning your weeks, months, and even the years ahead, you are sure to have experienced many disappointments. Life can send us so many curved balls—unexpected events, broken relationships, people letting us down, and our plans going awry. How often do our lives go exactly the way we want them to? And how confident are we that our plans will succeed?
Sometimes, when I expect too much from life, I find myself trusting far too completely in my own plans. I have even become quite disorientated at times when my plans collapse like a pack of cards. But then I have to give myself a serious talking-to! Too much trust in myself can be extremely counter-productive; it can even result in disillusionment as my dreams crumble to dust! Maybe I’ve been expecting too much from life. Maybe I should trust less in myself and more in God; in His good and perfect plan for my life. After all, He made me, so of course He knows what’s best for me. I tell myself to recite in my head those well-known verses from Proverbs or Jeremiah:
A couple of decades ago, God powerfully demonstrated to me that His plans for my future are so much better than mine. I had been working part-time at a school in Hilton, pouring my heart and soul into the job, giving my all to my students, compiling the school magazine and participating in extra-mural activities, so when a full-time post at the school was advertised, I applied, confident that I would get the job. I was devastated when my application was unsuccessful. However, three other posts at girl’s high schools were advertised in Pietermaritzburg. I applied for them all. Meanwhile, I happened to see a job advertised in the Sunday Times for a school in Johannesburg where my mother lived. But in Hilton and surrounds, doors and windows kept slamming in my face. Disappointment after disappointment. I didn’t even get an interview at any of those schools.
Little did I know that God was working in the background to secure a better future for me. Instead of a job interview in Maritzburg, he orchestrated one for me in Jo’burg. I flew up for it, had a wonderful weekend with my family, and was delighted when the school refunded me my airfare. Against all expectations, I was offered a full-time English post in Johannesburg, which allowed me to live with my mother for the last seven years of her life. This was such a blessing for both of us; I will always treasure those precious years.
This is not the only time in my life that, unbeknown to me and especially after a disappointment, God has been planning something so much more rewarding for me. But I’ve used the above story as an example of how amazingly rewarding and fulfilling it is to trust God’s plans for my life over mine. All too often, I have almost obsessively prayed for something that would not, in the long term, have been good for me. And that’s just for things in this life. As I look back on my life, I realise that many of the disappointments I’ve experienced have moulded my character, refined me and, in many instances, humbled me, preparing me for my future inheritance. And how freeing it is to walk by faith and to trust in God. To increase my faith, I steep myself in God’s recorded promises that are so abundant in the bible, as well as reflecting on the extraordinary stories of faithful men and women who trusted God even amid hardships, trials and temptations.
Inspired by these examples, I try to walk by faith and not by sight.